and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
