Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
