THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Can you bring me the toilet please
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
