Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
