theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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