How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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