There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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