i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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