The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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