check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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