i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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