that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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