he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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