forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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