You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
