OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize