grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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