I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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