Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
