While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize