I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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