hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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