he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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