But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
