you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
