i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize