i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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