there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
