I feel great
I just peed on a car
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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