The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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