We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
