So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
