every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
