some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I deserve this hangover.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
