There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
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