Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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