Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
