I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
