in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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