I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
