She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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