I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
