fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
