if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
