So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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