You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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