Duck Duck Cougar?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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