Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He did a backflip because drugs
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