she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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