uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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