So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
