I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
