I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
