if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
