We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
