Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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