i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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