when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize