Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
